The first step is to penetrate the clouds of deceit and distortion and learn the truth about the world,
then to organize and act to change it. That's never been impossible and never been easy. ~Noam Chomsky

Monday, January 3, 2011

A Rocky Relationship

The blog and I have been through a rough patch. We haven't been speaking this week.

I've been trying hard not to think about it, while of course it worms it's way into my mind at all times of day and night.

I've wrestled with the 'call of the blog' all week and come to the conclusion that Watershed blog and I are in a complicated relationship.

I expect to come to it with all of my thoughts and feelings, from the mundane "hey, blog, I think I should potty train Ariam this month-your thoughts?" to the complex "hey, blog, what does healthy infant adoption mean anyway? And why is the word healthy pushing all of my buttons these days?" From the intimate "umm...blog...I find myself getting teary at random emails and comments more than I'd like" to the public "Genna celebration next weekend!"

So, I expect to bring these issues to the blog and in return the blog will support me, back me up, support comments, and cooperate when I hit publish.

But my blog broke up with me last month. We'd been together over a year and a half! Suddenly it pulled away. First it was my left column of slaved over photos and widgets. Then it reorganized my owl on a tree limb cartoon at the bottom. Then it hit below the belt - it stopped accepting comments!! COMMENTS! The lifeblood of the blog relationship.

Watershed blog and I broke up. It took a lot of work to restore, what is really a shell, of our former relationship. We're back together, but it is very tentative. I feel reserved. I feel like I could be betrayed again at any moment. I don't know if I am just wasting my time with this relationship and therefore I can't create new widgets, or export my old archive. We've lost our former friends. I sometimes feel like we're getting sideways glances. My guess is that we've been removed from blogrolls - nobody believes we will last!

~A

PS. Ok, on serious note, if you were one of my previous followers and still read here on the new blog site could you just hit follow and start commenting again? I even allow anonymous comments again (please just keep them nice or sign or your name.) I miss you guys! I promise to start writing again. I *may* even add more to the left column if we can make it to February.

11 comments:

  1. Just commenting to make sure I can comment. And, yes I can. So that's good. Not that I have anything to say, actually:)

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  2. PLEAAAASSSSEEEE don't even consider not blogging. I'd have to find a Betty Ford type center for intervention if you stopped blogging. Perish the thought!!

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  3. Amanda, Amanda, Amanda....take all those ponderings and make em in to a post already! I need them. So just do it for me, o.k.? How's THAT for selfish?

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  4. I'm a reader!! I think I'm following publicly....I really appreciate your blog posts--I have about another year of waiting and seeing families who have been through and successfully adopted before me is a lifeline!

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  5. Still here of course! And LOVE THE new Side picture of little miss!! "meditation in pink"

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  6. of course i'm still here. our friend julie w. claims that she blogs bc it is cheaper than therapy. i read YOUR blog bc it is cheaper than therapy. can't afford the real thing, and don't have the time or inclination to reveal myself on some so-called professional's couch. so please don't quit. please. please.

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  7. OK, Morgan hasn't weighed in on this subject but I know that she reads regularly. Soooooo...if you're taking roll call, count her too, OK? (I can get away with that because I'm her mom, right? She's probably doing some important mommy thing and hasn't had a chance to go online)... Please, please, please...oh, and my husband often reads over my shoulder...will you count him too??? That makes atlest 3 from the Johnson/Hanna household

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  8. I'm still here :) And I share what you write with my hubby so does he count too :)

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  9. I need a steady diet of cute Ethiopian beauties to sustain this mommy's heart until I can see the first picture of my own darling. So keep 'em coming and I'll keep dropping by :)

    4 months DTE and counting....

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  10. Just back from Colombia...hope u continue the blog. Muchos Besos a Ariam!! Any DC plans for 2011? Abrazos

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Some of my very dearest friendships have been made through writing this blog and reading blogs written by other adoptive families. Comments help to facilitate and grow relationships and I welcome any written with positive intentions.

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