7

That is the number of tantrums this little innocent lovely had between Friday morning and Sunday evening. Three of them were epic. E.P.I.C.
All of them began with the word no, involved lots of flailing, hitting and all out hysterics, attempted time outs and time ins (yeah, I have no clue what I'm doing) and ended with a bottle, rocking, and that special hiccuping, snorting, sniffling thing we all do when faced with the end of an irrational cryfest. (Hers, not mine.)

We are considering pricking her finger to test her blood sugar when she gets going. (J has diabetes, thus a diabetes testing kit.) I have this weird feeling that she has low blood sugar and that the rage is centered around hunger but she doesn't realize it. After each one, after a full bottle, she's gone on to eat huge amounts of food.

Think pricking her finger during mid-rage would annoy her....?

Rage? Not moi!

~A

TANTRUUUM

We've glimpsed what's around the corner at age 2, but today I actually turned the corner and got a full on toddler tantrum experience.

And I'm at a total loss. I thought I knew what a tantrum looked like. It's the kid kicking on the floor of a Target toy aisle screaming that he wants an El.mo toy, right?? Or the mom hauling her 2 year old out of B.arnes and N.oble by her arm while she flails around screaming, right??

I've babysat through minor tantrums I guess. I remember toddlers whining and screaming when they don't get their way. I've smuggly told J "just distract, we just distract or ignore. Tantrums are no big deal."

Hmmm.

So here's what happened this morning. And I need advice from experienced mom.

Ariam was in her highchair for a mid-morning video (she watches a video while I take a shower or while I do her hair.) I had given her a pair of kid's headphones to listen to because we're practicing for a long airplane ride next week.

The headphones have been really exciting to Ariam. She loves them and is fascinated by them.

After a quick shower I heard her calling to me so I checked on her in the kitchen. Video was ending. I didn't want her watching more (we really try to limit to 1 video each day) and I didn't want her just playing with the headphones so I asked her to give them to me. She got very grabby and toddlerish. Lots of yelling "mine mine meeee!" and holding the headphones tightly. I really didn't have the patience to coax them out of her hands (probably preferable) so I pried her little fingers open and took them. Put the whole video/headphone system up high and took the tray off her highchair.

She wasn't please. That is the understatement of the year. She did not want to be taken off the highchair or told she couldn't have the headphones. I encouraged her to come help me get ready in the bathroom (she likes to pretend she's putting on makeup or cook with my drawer of hair products.)

Nothing worked. She was very angry. She stood in the kitchen crying and whining and screaming a little. So I just went on my way and finished getting ready in the bathroom.

Fast forward 15 minutes and she was a hot mess. NOTHING I tried worked. There was no amount of coaxing or encouraging I could give to pry her away from holding onto the edge of her highchair and screaming in hysterics.

It took 20 more minutes of holding her, trying to read her books (she would hit them and cry and scream), trying to put her in her crib (she was having none of that) to get her to calm down.

What finally worked was a bottle and some rocking. She was so very very insulted by the whole thing. She looked so angry and defeated and I know she couldn't even remember what she was upset about. She just wanted to hit me and scream and flail. While snot and tears and spit poured out of her and mingled all over the place.

Ick. It was all very awful and I guess a true look at a real tantrum.

So what do you do about these? Do you head them off at the first glimpse? In hindsight this was so much work that I wish I had just redirected her and helped her find a way to be happier after taking away the headphones. At the time though I was seriously patting myself on the back and planning to post on facebook something like "just used a 15 minute tantrum to blow dry my hair!" Smiley face smiley face.

In the middle of full blown tantrum do you try to hold a child even if they are hitting you and flailing? It seemed like she neither wanted to be put down OR held.

Is it ok to give a child a bottle (something you know they love and see as a reward) just to make it stop?

Wow. Seriously. I am exhausted and it is 10:46am. I rocked her until she was tired and put her down for a morning nap. She hasn't taken a morning nap in 5 months at least. I hope she'll sleep. I know I would want to if I had just screamed my lungs out for 40 minutes.

Is this our new norm????? What on earth????
~A